Life is a fantasized reality ♥

Friday, September 26, 2008

Equally even.

We both are facing examinations.

Been hoping that I won't be dissapointing anyone the 2nd time with my results this time.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

It was about 4pm in the evening. I juz woke up from my sleep as I was ill and was real weak to attend for my tuition. I was still on the bed when suddenly I heard my cell phone rang to tell me that I just received a message. I thought it was Aisyah or my mum but then I was over the moon when I saw his name written on the sender's column. It'd been some time since he last sms me. I became refreshed and regenerated upon receiveing his message. What the....
I'm glad we're doing fine now. And I hope everything will go on smoothly again in future.
Thank you for everything.
But most importantly, I thank Allah for meeting me with someone like him that could guide me and be a leader to me one day, insyaAllah.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Lack of sleep,
Feverish feel,
Swollen eyes,
Body aching,
Head spinning,
Lousy mood....
I injure myself because of a human.
Oh Allah forgive me for being obsessive towards Your slave and giving him more attention than You who deserves it more than anyone or anything else do. And I end up
abandon Your gift and amanah to me.

I once said to him not to be sad as I will always be by his side. But now, when I'm feeling down, he's not there for me. But I know You are always watching and protects me from any mishaps that could fall upon me.

I'm not trying to say that he's being cruel or mean towards me. But sometimes we tend to hurt others with the decisions that we made for ourselves.

Well.. in fact I'm used to be hurt by others words. I dun realy mind if the person who hurt me is a friend. The most hurtful one when being hurt by our own flesh & blood. I might not be hurt physically but the words that uttered from her mouth leaves me a lot of scars deep inside.

I always wonder.. what made she hate me so much. We used to be in good terms when we're young. I admit I miss the days when she usually spoke up for me in front of my friends and always support me although I'm in wrong.

It might sound foolish to her but I oftenly cry when I reach home as I remember the words that are hurtful enough were actually meant for me. Somehow, mum started to realise that the bonding between me and her were not getting there anymore. But I never wanted to tell her whatever things that she did to me as I still care about her and I'm sure there'll be reasons with her doings.

Dun say I didn't try my best to satisfy you. I'd always tried my level best to be your good cousin. The problem is we juz couldn't interact with each other like we used to be. I always pray to Allah to open her heart so that one day we could be together like we used to be. And I swear I miss you cousin. The old you without your nasty tounge.

Love is a gift from Allah to us. But sometimes, if we misuse or even use it excessively, we tend to hurt ourselves by LOVE.

Friday, September 12, 2008

In life, happiness can never stay long.
I hate to say this, I feel like letting you go.
And I still wonder if all this is nothing but just a mistake.

At class just now,
Everyone was joyfull enough.
Except me.
But I can't help it but to keep myself silent throughout the day.
I felt guilty though since not being there with them.
And make some of them worry for me.

I know there's a tone of dissapointment in you sis.
But it's hard for us to make the decision.

I'm sorry to make you involve in this.
I know it'd been hard on you.
A friend or flesh & blood.

Your last words were about: appreciation.
I wonder how you mean it by saying how much u appreciate me.

I need time for myself.
And I am sure time will heal the situation.
Remember I told you to concentrate fr dis major exams?
And this should be the right reason for the right time.

Whatever it is,
I am always behind you
Giving my support
And doa frm me as we are far apart.

Been looking foward fr the time when my foot step into the zone.

Identification

Nur Hidayah Binte Roslee Bin Junied
150693

Love me for who I am
Don't hate me even for who I am not
Spread love not hatred

Simple defines me
I let nature do its work

LOVE many, TRUST few, HATE none

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