Life is a fantasized reality ♥

Friday, December 19, 2008

I don't know whether I should be contented with the new me. I mean, I'm just getting along with new things. Last wednesday I went to Tampines Regional Library and I borrowed a book; A damn thick book, ERAGON by Christopher Paolini. Well, refer to my introduction I suppose I did mention that I don't enjoy reading ficitional books. And to believe that I actually missed watching Little Nyonya on channel 8 (which is the new crave since YEE influenced me with her "Die Die Must Watch" habit) just because I was enjoying that book.
I myself wasn't expecting that.

Later that night I showed to my dear brother that book expecting him to be amazed or what, but instead, he was laughing at me and said he actually finished the whole series which he mentioned ERAGON( currently my pathethic juz satarted book), ELDEST and BRISINGER. I hope I got the names all right. haha. Ya.. But, I wasn't suprised he would laugh at me since he's an extreme super hyper bookworm although he doesn't look like one.
And I can still remember him reading one of the Harry Potter books I don't know what tittle it is because I didn't follow up on that which is about 700+ pages in just one day. If it were to be me, it will take me about.. umm.. a month?
And he also did criticise the people who just started reading TWILLIGHT, NEW MOON, ECLIPSE and I don't know what the next tittle is. Since he read the whole series long ago.

And lately I'm getting into action movies. Usually movies like that only my mum and bro will watch and enjoy it and I will eventually get busy with my own stuff or if I were to join them, I'd only enjoying the snacks. But lately, somehow.. juz somehow, I'm so interseted in watching movies like that. hmm.

Conclusion: I think I'm getting to be so much alike just like my brother.
Hold on everyone.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
phew! okay, enough shouting.
Although I can say my brother is the greatest influence in my life, but still, I don't wanna be like him. I have my own style you know.. *grins*

Ok, I should spend more time doing some self-reflecting before I evolve into a totally "brother-alike" and it'll be too late.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

12th December 2008.

No doubt I had fun.
In which actually there's something I'm not enjoying with.
But hey girls, dun worry, it's just 0.001% and won't affect the happiness and joyness I had together with you guys.

But somehow.. I HATE THE PICTURES!!!
It's so much proven that I gained more weight during this holidays! Grrrrrrrr.

I'm warning you guys. Don't ever upload the obscene picture of mine yg kt sourcer pan tu ehk! If any of you guys wanna have a taste of my flying fist, then I dare you to upload dat pic.

Nul rugi babe. But again, no worries, CAMP FURQAN coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Get up on your feet and be strong!"

Thanks to someone for giving me motivational chat for about 4 hrs? hehe.
And my handphone was piping hot. How I wish it could burn the fats that clogged on my cheek once and for all instead of just increasing the rate of enzyme amylase in my mouth.

Ya.. I should pick myself up quickly and move on instead of sitting down and sob for nothing on things that were over. This should be the biggest lesson to me. Looking at how people around me react to see my results, only Allah know how it feels.

well.. At least mum was being supportive enough as she said even successfull people do face failures at times. And now, mum return back to her old position as my personal facilitator at home or I can say "personal asisstant"? okay.. don't count all her nags 24/7. -_-
She also did mention something that's quite harsh, "I thought I retired! But it seems like you've not grown up yet".. hmph!

To people out there who might be sharing the same fate with me, I hope this phrase could light up your spirit back because it works on me.
"We never face success all the way as we should give failure a chance to help us wake up".
I hope I got the phrase correct. But it does sound something like that.

Reflecting back who I am before since I was young, I should stop this nonsense once and for all and be back on my feet- the real me. It does hurt to see those who'd been racing with me all this while, the people who'd always behind me suddenly take their turn and left me behind all by myself and lead at the front. And I mean it, all of them. Hey, it's a healthy competition though.

Ok, guess I should stop for now. It's usually easier said than done.
It's good to see I've started preparing for next year. I hope this spirit continues to light all the way until I reach my final destination, insyaAllah. =)

Monday, December 8, 2008

"Kalau hidup hanya untuk makan dan tidur saja, apakah perbezaannya dengan binatang? Sebagai seorang manusia, haruslah tahu membezakannya."

You! yes, you yg bulat2, hidung kembang tu!
Jgn masuk mata kanan kluar mata kiri.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

You are the person who knows me the best.
You know what I could feel, what I could think, what I would say.
You know what are the things I could bring in my bag everytime I go.
You know what I like.
You know my taste.
You are my ears, my shoulder and even my pillow.
You know everything about me.
But somehow....
I don't know. I just don't.
It seemed empty now.
Reading ur blog, I realised one thing.
I guess you felt the same thing too.
Maybe our friendship seems less inspired because of me.
I know I am dissapointing this year.
I know you can see that too.
I used to advice a lot on you. Keep you motivated and inspired.
But now... I'm a letdown.
I realised how much I get less important to you.
And you like my good friend better now.
I don't deserve to feel jealous.
Cause I'm the reason for all this.
I realised how much I scold you for the bad thing that you do won't work anymore.
I realised that you won't persuade me anymore even after I slammed the phone.
I realised how much you won't bother to check whether I leave any missed calls or messages.
I realised how much I'm not being meaningful to you anymore.
I realised how much I get less appreciation from you.
I realised how much you wanted our conversation come to an end all the time.
I realised how hard you are to tolerate my attitude anymore.

I know, if there come a day I would throw my shoes to you, you will still pick it up for me.

I don't wanna be just ur friend like the others. I wanna be more than them.

I'm just missing how we spent our times together.
I hate myself for who I am now.
I hate to let out my feelings here. But to who else can I express my feelings? Since you are the only person I trust and you are the only one who can understands me the best.

I just want you to know, I love you the most and I appreciate the beautiful friendship that you'd given me; your tolerance, your care & concern, your support and most importantly, your love.

I'm very proud of you brother.
Firstly, you were chosen for the top 20 from the 1500+ students of the first year to do a test to indicate whether you deserve to study for an advance diploma. And you make it for the top 9.

And yesterday, you came home with a good news saying that you'll be sent to the United states to attend for your course. I'm really happy for you!
And I can see how happy mum n granddad were upon knowing this. At least, you make mum smile back after I dissapoint her with my results.

My... I really can't imagine you staying there all alone by yourself without any friends or family. Firstly to New York then to California. I'll be totally missing you.

Identification

Nur Hidayah Binte Roslee Bin Junied
150693

Love me for who I am
Don't hate me even for who I am not
Spread love not hatred

Simple defines me
I let nature do its work

LOVE many, TRUST few, HATE none

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