Life is a fantasized reality ♥

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Lack of sleep,
Feverish feel,
Swollen eyes,
Body aching,
Head spinning,
Lousy mood....
I injure myself because of a human.
Oh Allah forgive me for being obsessive towards Your slave and giving him more attention than You who deserves it more than anyone or anything else do. And I end up
abandon Your gift and amanah to me.

I once said to him not to be sad as I will always be by his side. But now, when I'm feeling down, he's not there for me. But I know You are always watching and protects me from any mishaps that could fall upon me.

I'm not trying to say that he's being cruel or mean towards me. But sometimes we tend to hurt others with the decisions that we made for ourselves.

Well.. in fact I'm used to be hurt by others words. I dun realy mind if the person who hurt me is a friend. The most hurtful one when being hurt by our own flesh & blood. I might not be hurt physically but the words that uttered from her mouth leaves me a lot of scars deep inside.

I always wonder.. what made she hate me so much. We used to be in good terms when we're young. I admit I miss the days when she usually spoke up for me in front of my friends and always support me although I'm in wrong.

It might sound foolish to her but I oftenly cry when I reach home as I remember the words that are hurtful enough were actually meant for me. Somehow, mum started to realise that the bonding between me and her were not getting there anymore. But I never wanted to tell her whatever things that she did to me as I still care about her and I'm sure there'll be reasons with her doings.

Dun say I didn't try my best to satisfy you. I'd always tried my level best to be your good cousin. The problem is we juz couldn't interact with each other like we used to be. I always pray to Allah to open her heart so that one day we could be together like we used to be. And I swear I miss you cousin. The old you without your nasty tounge.

Love is a gift from Allah to us. But sometimes, if we misuse or even use it excessively, we tend to hurt ourselves by LOVE.