Life is a fantasized reality ♥

Saturday, December 6, 2008

You are the person who knows me the best.
You know what I could feel, what I could think, what I would say.
You know what are the things I could bring in my bag everytime I go.
You know what I like.
You know my taste.
You are my ears, my shoulder and even my pillow.
You know everything about me.
But somehow....
I don't know. I just don't.
It seemed empty now.
Reading ur blog, I realised one thing.
I guess you felt the same thing too.
Maybe our friendship seems less inspired because of me.
I know I am dissapointing this year.
I know you can see that too.
I used to advice a lot on you. Keep you motivated and inspired.
But now... I'm a letdown.
I realised how much I get less important to you.
And you like my good friend better now.
I don't deserve to feel jealous.
Cause I'm the reason for all this.
I realised how much I scold you for the bad thing that you do won't work anymore.
I realised that you won't persuade me anymore even after I slammed the phone.
I realised how much you won't bother to check whether I leave any missed calls or messages.
I realised how much I'm not being meaningful to you anymore.
I realised how much I get less appreciation from you.
I realised how much you wanted our conversation come to an end all the time.
I realised how hard you are to tolerate my attitude anymore.

I know, if there come a day I would throw my shoes to you, you will still pick it up for me.

I don't wanna be just ur friend like the others. I wanna be more than them.

I'm just missing how we spent our times together.
I hate myself for who I am now.
I hate to let out my feelings here. But to who else can I express my feelings? Since you are the only person I trust and you are the only one who can understands me the best.

I just want you to know, I love you the most and I appreciate the beautiful friendship that you'd given me; your tolerance, your care & concern, your support and most importantly, your love.